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* Friday, April 13, 2007 *
quoting quotes.
Blindfolded and walking alone,
that's how most of us feel.
In a lifetime full of major risks and decisions,
it might seem safer to remain stagnant.
But isn’t it more fulfilling if despite the fear
of falling from a cliff and bruised knees,
steps were taken?
In the end,
losing and mistakes won’t count.
What will matter most is the person we turned out to be –
not naïve,
but wise and beautifully molded by experiences.
- jelly
On moving on:
If a person doesn’t love you anymore,
then there is no more reason for you to stay.
The only way to stop hurting is to stop wanting and
the only way to stop wanting is to start accepting that the person
is probably not the same person you used to know.
Then and only then can you move on
to find the happiness that becomes truly rewarding
when shared with the person who loves us just the same
or probably even more.
- chum
A sweet truth:
When God knows you’re ready
for the responsibility of commitment,
He’ll reveal the right person
under the right circumstances.
- rea
We grow old and suddenly
we want to hurry things.
Don’t commit when you’re not ready.
Don’t keep others waiting endlessly.
To fulfill your parenting fantasies, get a puppy.
Don’t bring another life into this world
for all the wrong reasons.
To keep yourself warm, buy a jacket.
In the long run, it will be less complicated and less costly.
Take care of yourself.
Don’t wait for someone to take care of you.
No one completes you – except you.
- chum
Sometimes, it’s not love.
Sometimes, you’ve just become so attached
that you’ve developed a need for that person.
Just a need. Not love.
But you’re too scared to admit it, even to yourself.
Because you know that if you do,
you might lose the only person
who actually gives a damn about your life.
- deah
---
magbabakasyon na si jen! *cheers* hopefully we'd be able to live up to our plan for vacation: to take a walk every morning, exercise and play badminton. yey! *lol* congrats for making it to tenth honorable mention, baby! *applaudes*
---
hmm.. pray for the powerpoint presentation that i made as a grad gift to my twin siblings. *chants: gumana ka, gumana ka... lol*
---
funny how easily a person can actually forget you. oh well.
---
this weekend's plan: to attend my baby sis' graduation. congrats to the graduates of RISCI batch 6! ü
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i mustered up every tidbit of courage in me to make that phonecall. thanks for making it worthwhile. *beams*
---
*lol* this turned out to be a very chopped entry. *belat* anyway, God bless! ja~ ne! *peace*
Labels: chum, commitment, deah, jelly, jen, life, love, moving on, quote, rea, senti
* Wednesday, April 11, 2007 *
it’s not about not loving
have you ever been in a dreamlike situation, wherein everything’s just so wonderful that you wish you’d never wake up? that's how it was when i was in japan. the country was beautiful, the people were great, the culture was remarkable… i can say that japan is indeed a country worth visiting. i swear, i love it.
but when this tita from church started teaching me how i could go back to japan immediately after i go back to the philippines, suddenly my feelings changed. yes, i love japan and it would be lovely if i would live there, but i do have a life to return to in the philippines. going back to japan immediately on my own accord at this point in time is something that i think i wouldn’t want to do. it's not that i suddenly don’t love japan anymore. it's just that the country has a lot of things to offer, but i'm just too young to embrace all of those in the present. if my future lies in japan, then let it be there until i get to the future.
… just like in love. it's not like i don’t love him anymore; it’s just that i realized that maybe i'm not yet ready for his love nor the commitment for now.
---
we had our easter egg hunt at home last easter sunday. unlike the previous egg hunts that we had had, this year’s event required hunting of printed eggs, or bunnies or hatching chicks or baskets or whatever. each picture was supposed to be equivalent to a certain amount of prize, say a hatching chick is equal to twenty pesos, but in the end all the prize attachments were removed. instead, we received a lecture about the real essence of easter, and were promised equal prizes.
*sigh* just because me and john fought over a basket of eggs. *sweatdrop*
---
congratulations to tgang for the successful surprise birthday party for enric! yey!
besty, thanks for the call. otei na ba lalamunan mo? *lol*
God bless! *peace*
Labels: easter, egg hunt, enric, home, japan, love, senti, tgang
* Wednesday, April 04, 2007 *
everybody hates school. or at least they say so. and during my years in high school, i've become a prominent part of "everybody". no to exams, no to classes, no to homeworks. as one of the often excused students, i completely lost my enthusiasm towards school. it's a shame to admit it, but it's true.
and then i went away, to a land where i sit behind my desk and gape at the incomprehensible writings on the board like a child just learning his ABC's. i sit up awake the nights before exams, and amidst the headache and a few teardrops, i promise to myself that i will never take my lessons for granted again. especially when it's in a language that i can readily comprehend.
now that i'm back to the land where i can understand even meaningless words like chorva, i am determined to face the challenge of being a student yet again. no more slacking off and pushing tasks over the deadline. that one year of tackling with kanji's, hiragana's and katakana's really made me appreciate school, as long as it's in english or filipino. *lol* i haven't started school yet, but i'm overly excited to enter university, though i am aware of the horror that lies within it. if you're 17 and you're sitting in your home while all your friends are attending school, you'll realize that school, ironically, will make you most happy at the moment. especially because your friends are there. hell yeah.
i miss my friends so badly. for two months, i barely had any other world aside from my own. i felt so left out, despite being able to communicate with some of my batchmates through text. i knew no stories, no new gossips, and my days are bare when i don't receive a single message from anyone. i wanted to get back into the world where everyone is, but i figured i couldn't yet, at the time.
being a batch 5 member, i attended my high school's batch 1-5 reunion last april 2-3, and ended up staying there overnight. i wasn't really able to share much stories with everyone outside my circle of girl bestfriends, but after the reunion ended, my world has expanded rather drastically slash dramatically, so much that i can't seem to cope up with it for now. all the stories, the confessions, the text messages, the phone calls... they're driving me crazy. but i wanted this, right? i wanted to be able to connect with everyone again, and i did it. i've dived into the world where everybody else is. but it seems like it's just too big for me.
---
to my besty, hold on. i know i could and should do much more for you now, but i'm sorry because what i shared is all that i can give for now. thanks for carrying part of my load for me, too. we'll get over this all right, and together. we can.
chummy, i hope you're fine too. i've been worrying about you since you opened up, even after hearing your voice over the phone. i hate seeing you sad. just call me when you need someone to talk to, or just someone to cry with you.
hey, i don't think love is measured with "right or wrong", so stop worrying. even if everyone bashes you, just keep in mind that someone understands your true reasons. i'm just here. just take time and you'll find answers to your questions.
bhi, thanks. for some time i completely forgot that i was problematic, really.
i know, i'm evil, and i admit it. haven't you reminded me enough yet? because you just won't seem to stop.
dad, take care. i hope to have no regrets after i failed to tell you a lot.
akhil, al, and john, belated happy birthday.
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God bless me. and hopefully bring me back to my world, where there is no one else but me, and my blissfully boring life alone. or if that just can't be, just help me get through this world, where i can no longer hide from everyone.
to hell with the drama.