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* Sunday, March 22, 2009 * i was feeling super depressed a while ago. now i'm only a little depressed. i'm tired and i feel like my life's super empty right now. maybe it's due to piled up stress from all that happened to me this week. plus the major depression tonight. haii. as my ym stat goes, i am not gonna be happy. or at least not right now. i dunno. all i know is that at times (or weekends) like this, i would just rush home to rizal no matter how tiring the trip is, and cuddle beside my mom as she rests on her bed as always. it was a very satisfying escape from all the work here in school, and the best way to erase all my worries and sadness. i really miss those times, but of course, there's no way i could go back. now, there's nowhere - or nobody - to run to. i feel so helpless, i couldn't even text my siblings nor my tita. it's good that somehow, my going online wasn't so much in vain. first, there was a stranger (he's on my list, but we couldn't remember why or how we met) who inspired me to think positive though he didn't have any idea why i was depressed. and then besty went online, and i ranted all about my problems to her. she always listens to me and knows me all too well. and lastly, aj lamorena (prolly prompted by my ym stat) pm-ed to offer to text for me if ever i needed to send an important text message to somebody ('coz my phone's still wasak). it was very thoughtful of her. she really made me smile. after seeing the result of our accounting exam after mass tonight, i got sad and immediately started making a list in my mind of things that would make me happy. but so far none of them worked. not ice cream. not "love life". not even being an instant gc and studying for my mbb exam tonight (i just couldn't focus). oh well, i guess it's really the unexpected things that can work they're magic in lifting your spirits up when you're down. I'm still not feeling okay (or maybe i'm just hungry. i ought to eat after signing out), but everything's better. and i hope tomorrow will be better still. * Saturday, March 21, 2009 * are meant to be broken. itsumo, itsumo onaji. haii. good luck na naman bukas. sana makabawi na talaga. mantra: i love accounting. (magfofocus na nga lang nadistract pa nang 'di oras.) anyway, good luck batchmates! * Tuesday, March 17, 2009 * the day hasn't ended yet, and i am super wishing it would. It seems like super mega malas ko today. haii. 101 exam: I started reading last week because I know my sched's gonna be hectic this week. I was ready for the lesson and a bit late (but still just on time for me) for the exam. And for some reason the ikot jeep took forever to load and i ended up arriving super duper late. Mid-exam, my mind just shut off. I know that I was supposed to know the answers to those questions, but the answers just won't surface. It's the first exam ever that I was mental-blocked. It's unfair, to think that I've prepared relatively well for this. Elevate. I guess you all know what happened. Haii. Sobrang fail ko. 180.1. I've set my mind on reviewing our prof's slides when I get home and spending the night as leisurely as I wish on practicing excel. But boo, I arrive at the boarding house and my sister has just left, laptop in tow. It would have been okay if our other roommate had her laptop, but of all times, she accidentally left it at home. I was desperate and texted two people and tried calling another one to borrow. Pero asa. It was all in vain and I just wasted time. Now here I am, spending the night in a computer shop. I should be pressured on finishing early so I'd spend less money and be able to go home early, but I'm super frustrated now that I just need to let this all out. Haii. Wala namang mapag-share-an aside from Pipay. Eh I don't want to disturb her more given that she also has an exam tomorrow to prepare for. Okay, there. I should start working now if I don't want another fail day. Kung pwede lang sanang umiyak. Kaso wala nang time. * Saturday, March 14, 2009 * because multiply won't upload pics at tghe moment, i'm doing the mass upload next time. suuuper sleepy. i'm preparing to upload tons of pictures. if you don't want to see a lot of me right now, you can skip viewing my albums. but if you do have free time, feel free to browse through my collection. oh, and leave comments. :p i'm uploading all these from my phone because i don't have a laptop to store my pictures in (my laptop's wasak). since my bro's laptop has bluetooth and i see him rarely, i'm taking this opportunity to upload and give my phone more memory space, even if it's already 3 in the morning and i should be sleeping. need to be back in diliman by 1pm later. -_- anyway, have a great Sunday! enjoy! :D * Sunday, March 08, 2009 * JJMA ka? JJMA ako! JJMA na tayong lahat kay JJ San Juan! JJ for a FINer JMA! JJ for UP JMA Vice President for Finance! Please check out my GPOA at the CBA 3F front lobby. For questions, comments, suggestions, violent reactions, or anything at all, you can contact me through my e-mail [jjsj1989@yahoo. com] or my phone [0906.286.5040] Reposted from (and for) JJ San Juan. :) * Friday, January 23, 2009 * Grabbed from julirose. akalain mong may gumawa na din pala ng sagot, bukod sa notes ni klyonne. :)) Kapag ngumiti ka na ng konti, nag-ayos ng konti pagkakamalan ka nang malandi. Hindi pangseryosohang relasyon. Marinig lang nila na malakas kang mag-salita, palengkera ka na. T.O. kagad sa kanila iyon. Mahilig silang tumingin sa mga babaeng sexy manamit, kulang nalang makita na kaluluwa. Pero kapag babaeng seryosohin at gustong ligawan dapat disente, dapat mala-anghel ang mukha, dapat mukhang inosente. Tapos kami pa raw ang mahilig mamili? Parang baliktad yata? Ok, ayan nanliligaw na si lalake. Dapat pakipot ka para suyuin ka, para habulin ka pa lalo. Kapag hindi ka naman nagpakipot.. "easy to get" naman ang tingin sa iyo. Hindi ka na seseryosohin. Teka! Sino bang may sabing magpaalila kayo, di naman namin hawak ang buhay niyo. Natural lang na magtiis kayo, may gusto kayo sa amin eh. Kapag nakuha niyo na iyon wala na lahat ng mga paghihirap niyo, babaliktad na ang sitwasyon kami naman ang mamromroblema. Para lang kayong may gustong bilhin na bagay. Upang mabili ito kailangan munang magsakripisyo, magtipid, magtiis. Pag nabili na at mapagsawaan wala na, balewala na. Diyan ka na sa tabi-tabi. "Tawagan nalang kita pag trip ko o kaya'y pag may gusto akong ipagawa sa iyo" Ano pa ba? E di sinagot mo na diba. Utang na loob pa natin yun. Dahil naghirap daw sila sa panliligaw dapat masuklian natin iyon ng higit pa. Sa umpisa kailangan malambing ka, maayos at laging magsisilbi sa kanya. Ayaw daw nilang humawak ng relasyon, pero kapag ikaw naman ang nagmando, aba! masasakal naman. Sasabihin pa sa iyo: "demanding ka." Meron ka pang maririnig na: "I think we need space.", ..........at kung anu-ano pang ek-ek. Sino rin may sabing di dapat kami magpakabait, maging devoted at faithful? Kapag kami ang sumaway niyang mga iyan, iba na ang tingin sa amin. Malandi na kami, haliparot, pakawala, makikay at kung anu-ano pang mga bansag ang itatawag sa amin. Kapag kayo gumawa noon, ok lang. Lalake kayo eh, macho kayo pag ginawa niyo yon. Kaya kami, walang magawa. Magpapakaburo at magpapakamadre nalang. Kapag nagloko na kayo ano pa bang magagawa namin? Eh di iiyak nalang. Wala namang ibang magagawa eh. Tungkol naman sa tinatawag niyong pagdedemand namin. Hindi kami nagdedemand! Karapatan lang namin iyon. Karapatan namin na lambingin niyo kami, icheck at ipakita sa amin na mahal niyo kami. Hindi rin ibig sabihin na mas sincere kayo sa amin. Seryoso rin naman kami ah. At ang maturity wala yan sa edad. Mas maaga nga kaming magmature sa inyo. Ang isang 19 year old na lalake eh, isip 15 pa yun. It follows iyan sa lahat ng age group. Mas mataas pa kung minsan ang pagbawas ng level of maturity. Kayo na ang mag-math! Pati yung pag-iyak namin pinupuntirya niyo. Kesyo drama daw. Diba kapag umiyak ka nagbuhos ka ng emosyon diyan. Ano tingin niyo sa amin mga artista?! Alam niyo iyon? Yun bang kulang nalang ay lumuha ka na ng dugo, pero hindi ka pa rin papansinin. Sasabihan ka pang tigilan na ang pagdradrama. Hindi nila kami maiintindihan kapag nagseselos kami. Bakit naman kami magseselos kung wala kaming nakikita? Mas iba kaming magmahal. Mas masarap.. Kapag natapos na ang lambingan, eh di siyempre iwanan blues na. Kami pa raw ang nagsawa, kami pa raw ang nagtritrip lang. Sino ba ang lumalayas kapag may nakita nang bago, sino ba ang mayabang, sino ba ang nagmamalaki? Kami ba? Kami ang walang choice... Kasi ang babae pag sinabing "break na tayo.." Lambingin lang iyan ng konti balikan blues na iyan. Kapag ang lalake ang umayaw, pucha, bahala ka diyan. Kahit mag-tambling ka pa sa harap niya. Wa-epek. Umiyak ka ng bato.Wa-epek. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Tapos sila pa raw ang kawawa? Post-break up. Mahal pa ng babae si lalaki. Sasamantalahin ni lalaki. Magpapagawa ng kung anu-ano. Naaalala ka lang kapag may kailangan sa iyo. Kapag pumangit ka after the break up, magpapasalamat sila na iniwan ka nila. Kapag gumanda ka naman, ipagkakalat nila sa buong sangkatauhan na naging girlfriend ka niya. Sala sa init sala sa lamig talaga. Ano ba namang buhay to? Ang hirap ding maging babae ano. Kala nila laging sila nalang. Lagi rin kaming naiiwan sa ere. PUTANGINA SAKLAP DIBA? * Thursday, January 22, 2009 * reposted from tiff. 'di ako sang-ayon, pero nakakaaliw din basahin. :) *gabe. usapang lalake* Musta na, pare? Ako, okay lang. Eto. Nagmumuni-muni. Nag-iisip. Minsan talaga may mga bagay na hindi ko maintindihan. Ewan ko ba. *hinga ng malalim* Bakit ba ganun pare, ilang beses ko na pinag-aralan pero lagi na lang lumalabas na parang kahit ‘sang anggulo mo tingnan, hindi nagiging patas para sa mga lalake ang ilang bagay pagdating sa pagmamahal. *tingin sa stars* Minsan naiisip ko, alam kaya ng mga babae ang hirap ng lalake Ang alam lang ata nila e mamili, manakit, at magsaya. Tingin mo? *tingin sa malayo* Lagi naman ganun. Una pa lang, lalake na ang naghihirap. Patutunayan na mahal nga sila. Susuyuin to-the-max.
sasabayan, palalamunin, pagtyatyagaan, lahat na. Kulang na lang e pagsilbihan mo nang walang sahod.
Basta ang alam nila, pag di nila tayo trip, isang malaking HINDE ang makukuha naten,
Wala tayong magagawa, marami silang alibi. “Hindi pa ‘ko ready eh..”,
“Ha? Uhhmm.. nagpapatawa ka ba? Hahahaha..” “Better luck next time na lang muna, okay lang?”, “Give me a decade. Pag-iisipan ko muna..”, “Para lang kitang kapatid e..”, yaddah yaddah. Isang malaking pagsasaklob ng langit at lupa ‘yon para saten. *kuha ng bote ng beer* At hindi lang ‘yon tol. Sa pre-relationship stage pa lang yon. Tayo daw ang mga lalake kaya tayo ang hahawak ng relasyon. Tayo ang aayos kung may gulo; tayo ang dapat magpapakabait; tayo ang magtatyaga; tayo ang magiging devoted at faithful; tayo, tayo tayo. Sila? Ummm… Teka, isipin ko. Ayun. Sila ang magsasabi kung anong oras kayo dapat magmeet; sila ang magtetext ng mga mushy at kabalbalang texts; sila ang magdedemand sayo ng kung anu-ano; sila ang magbabawal; sila ang magsasabi kung kelan ka dapat mag-shave, kung kelan ka pwedeng tumawag sa bahay nila, kung kelan sila di dapat bad tripin dahil meron sila, at kung kelan ka korni. Ewan. Ganun ata talaga. *kuha ng bote ng beer* Hindi pa yun tapos pare, dahil dapat tayo ang bahala kung ano ang magiging takbo ng relasyon. Pag maganda, edi okay. Pag may problema, kasalanan naten. Haay buhay. Minsan talaga kung tutuusin sakit sila ng ulo. Kaya lang mahal naten kaya di na natin iniintindi yun. *hinga ng malalim* Pero alam mo tol, feeling ko mas sincere pa tayo magmahal sa kanila. Mas mature?
*hinga ng malalim* At ito pa ang pinakamasaklap. *singhot* Ang ending ng relasyon. At ano pa ang kasamang hassle don? *iiling* Tayo siyempre ang mga antagonist Ang ending: Haay buhay. Ang hirap maging lalake. Ako, kamusta? Eto. Ang mga babae talaga, oo. |
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