i was feeling super depressed a while ago. now i'm only a little depressed.

i'm tired and i feel like my life's super empty right now. maybe it's due to piled up stress from all that happened to me this week. plus the major depression tonight. haii.

as my ym stat goes, i am not gonna be happy. or at least not right now. i dunno. all i know is that at times (or weekends) like this, i would just rush home to rizal no matter how tiring the trip is, and cuddle beside my mom as she rests on her bed as always. it was a very satisfying escape from all the work here in school, and the best way to erase all my worries and sadness. i really miss those times, but of course, there's no way i could go back.

now, there's nowhere - or nobody - to run to. i feel so helpless, i couldn't even text my siblings nor my tita. it's good that somehow, my going online wasn't so much in vain. first, there was a stranger (he's on my list, but we couldn't remember why or how we met) who inspired me to think positive though he didn't have any idea why i was depressed. and then besty went online, and i ranted all about my problems to her. she always listens to me and knows me all too well. and lastly, aj lamorena (prolly prompted by my ym stat) pm-ed to offer to text for me if ever i needed to send an important text message to somebody ('coz my phone's still wasak). it was very thoughtful of her. she really made me smile.

after seeing the result of our accounting exam after mass tonight, i got sad and immediately started making a list in my mind of things that would make me happy. but so far none of them worked. not ice cream. not "love life". not even being an instant gc and studying for my mbb exam tonight (i just couldn't focus).

oh well, i guess it's really the unexpected things that can work they're magic in lifting your spirits up when you're down. I'm still not feeling okay (or maybe i'm just hungry. i ought to eat after signing out), but everything's better. and i hope tomorrow will be better still.