everybody hates school. or at least they say so. and during my years in high school, i've become a prominent part of "everybody". no to exams, no to classes, no to homeworks. as one of the often excused students, i completely lost my enthusiasm towards school. it's a shame to admit it, but it's true.

and then i went away, to a land where i sit behind my desk and gape at the incomprehensible writings on the board like a child just learning his ABC's. i sit up awake the nights before exams, and amidst the headache and a few teardrops, i promise to myself that i will never take my lessons for granted again. especially when it's in a language that i can readily comprehend.

now that i'm back to the land where i can understand even meaningless words like chorva, i am determined to face the challenge of being a student yet again. no more slacking off and pushing tasks over the deadline. that one year of tackling with kanji's, hiragana's and katakana's really made me appreciate school, as long as it's in english or filipino. *lol* i haven't started school yet, but i'm overly excited to enter university, though i am aware of the horror that lies within it. if you're 17 and you're sitting in your home while all your friends are attending school, you'll realize that school, ironically, will make you most happy at the moment. especially because your friends are there. hell yeah.

i miss my friends so badly. for two months, i barely had any other world aside from my own. i felt so left out, despite being able to communicate with some of my batchmates through text. i knew no stories, no new gossips, and my days are bare when i don't receive a single message from anyone. i wanted to get back into the world where everyone is, but i figured i couldn't yet, at the time.

being a batch 5 member, i attended my high school's batch 1-5 reunion last april 2-3, and ended up staying there overnight. i wasn't really able to share much stories with everyone outside my circle of girl bestfriends, but after the reunion ended, my world has expanded rather drastically slash dramatically, so much that i can't seem to cope up with it for now. all the stories, the confessions, the text messages, the phone calls... they're driving me crazy. but i wanted this, right? i wanted to be able to connect with everyone again, and i did it. i've dived into the world where everybody else is. but it seems like it's just too big for me.

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to my besty, hold on. i know i could and should do much more for you now, but i'm sorry because what i shared is all that i can give for now. thanks for carrying part of my load for me, too. we'll get over this all right, and together. we can.

chummy, i hope you're fine too. i've been worrying about you since you opened up, even after hearing your voice over the phone. i hate seeing you sad. just call me when you need someone to talk to, or just someone to cry with you.

hey, i don't think love is measured with "right or wrong", so stop worrying. even if everyone bashes you, just keep in mind that someone understands your true reasons. i'm just here. just take time and you'll find answers to your questions.

bhi, thanks. for some time i completely forgot that i was problematic, really.

i know, i'm evil, and i admit it. haven't you reminded me enough yet? because you just won't seem to stop.

dad, take care. i hope to have no regrets after i failed to tell you a lot.

akhil, al, and john, belated happy birthday.

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God bless me. and hopefully bring me back to my world, where there is no one else but me, and my blissfully boring life alone. or if that just can't be, just help me get through this world, where i can no longer hide from everyone.

to hell with the drama.